19th May 2013, 08:27
Methinks the King doth protest too much. As a humble Grand Maester of the Second Rank, may I suggest lamprey pie to cool the temperamental fires of late onset puberty? In all the Seven Kingdoms, I'm sure at least one comely wench can be found to keep an eel beneath her skirts. One eyed, perhaps, and likely to spit in your face when aroused, but still a rare enough treat for any man. The fish, I mean. Not even a one-eyed Wildling from Beyond the Wall would dare spit in your face, Sire!
*Yes, I know a lamprey is not an eel, but why confuse the poor boy?