Hi there,
I heard that this was an introduction part of the forum so I thought that I would give it a try. This is my first time doing this since this is quite a confusing time for me. For the better part of my life, I have pretty much forced myself into accepting that girls are the correct thing to think about, sexually that is. But recent events, getting my first girlfriend and not being able to... well... do it because of feelings that are not new to me, have made it abundantly clear that I am not who I thought I was. And keep in mind that I am 20 years old, a junior in college and I just had my first gf.
I am in a cloud of confusion as my feelings are just not precise in what they are telling me. I have accepted it as culturally acceptable (Bible belt US citizen here) to be Straight. But now, I get the feeling that this new feeling is going against this overwhelmingly accepted notion in the southern US.
I am... afraid, yes that is the word, afraid of what is to come. There are so many things that I have worked so hard for that now can be ripped away from me, just in a moments notice, if I let certain people know. I am just looking for a "port in the storm", or at least somewhere I can be myself and not have to be criticized.
Well, that is me I guess.
Hello there!
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18th November 2010, 01:33
18th November 2010, 02:02
Just a suggestion, don't base your sexual orientation on what might have been a bout of performance anxiety. There is more to it than which tab fits into whose slot. Take some time out for yourself, realize that there is no clock ticking away precious moments of homo/hetero sexuality. It's better for you and better for your future partners if you pause and reflect. Particularly with orientation being less a binary and more of a spectrum. Chances are, that's a good part of the confusion. We are too used to thinking "yes" and "no" that we forget all of the "maybes" that make up our lives.
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18th November 2010, 02:49
Thank you for the advice, but I think you misunderstood. When I said "do it", i meant kiss, hug, to love and to hold. When I tried to hug or kiss, there was nothing. Don't get me wrong, this girl was cute but it just did nothing. It just did not feel right. Like there was something missing. I promised myself a long time ago that my first time making love(sex) would be with a person that I truly love, not some person that I have been dating for a short period of time and just wanted their body for it. Therefore, I am still a virgin (and proud). When I said feeling up above, I meant as in men have a more sexual appearance to me than women. Yes women are cute and beautiful but men just have that feeling of I want to be with them and love them.
18th November 2010, 03:09
No need to apologize.
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18th November 2010, 12:22
Welcome!
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18th November 2010, 14:20
Welcome to FP Viridianscarab, it is a good place to just be yourself when it comes to sexuality in general, most people are pretty easy going around here, and friendly.
19th November 2010, 00:09
Greetings and Welcome
20th November 2010, 03:26
Thank you all for the welcome! The forums are very kind and friendly here. Although somewhat addicting.
22nd November 2010, 18:52
Hello
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