Time Experimentation
Story by Neolime
Hi,
I need your opinion on something as readers, first some backstory (you don't have to read this).
I'm doing a B.A. in English and one of my lecturers claims that the present simple tense can make text more vivid and compelling, I want to try it out with you.
Below are two takes on the same short text (FutaXFemale, very light excessive cum). One using present simple tense and the other the way I regularly write.
What I want you to do is read both and vote on which one you enjoyed more, the story is 150 words long so it shouldnât take much of your time.
Also, if you have anything to donate to this discussion I would love to hear you.
Enjoy.
Regular Writing
Carly took the cock in her mouth, it was the biggest she ever had. The taste was salty sweet and she enjoyed it as she sucked and played around it with her tongue. Julia moaned as the pleasure of having her cock sucked by this beautiful woman took her, she was lost in ecstasy. Carly could feel the cock in her mouth flexing, telling her Julia was on the edge.
Carly knew what to do, her hand reached to Julia's balls and gave a squeeze, causing Julia to moan loudly as she went over the edge.
Carly's mouth was filled instantaneously with cum from Julia's balls, she started to swallow and when she no longer could, she opened her mouth a bit and let the cum flow down her young body, covering her with unimaginable amounts as Julia groaned and moaned in her heaven.
Present Simple Tense
Carly takes the cock in her mouth, it is the biggest she ever had. It tastes salty sweet and she enjoys it as she sucks and plays around it with her tongue. Julia moans as the pleasure of having her cock sucked by this beautiful woman takes her, she is lost in ecstasy. Carly can feel the cock in her mouth flex, telling her Julia is on the edge.
Carly knows what to do, her hand reaches to Julia's balls and gives a squeeze, causing Julia to moan loudly as she goes over the edge.
Carly's mouth is filled instantaneously with cum from Julia's balls, she starts to swallow and when she no longer can, she opens her mouth a bit and lets the cum flow down her young body, it covers her with unimaginable amounts as Julia groans and moans in her heaven.