Need Feedback / proofread, new to writing

Story by Pinges

Hello!

Long time lurker in here, mainly for the stories from all the people who post their stuff on here.

As I really enjoy the content on here, I though about giving it a try myself and came up with a story, or at least a part of it.

EDIT 4: deleted the story in the spoiler, you can find it in the google-drive-folder-link

Stuff written like: "bla bla" is said. Stuff in cursive is thought and stuff in is written on any signs, doors, labels and stuff.

I'd appreciate feedback on all fronts, since this is my first time writing anything that isn't a) in german and b) not related to technical protocols.

The story will contain mostly the stuff I'm into, thusly there will not be any:

stuff

Probably not inside:

- Futa on male / Male on Futa

- muscle growth

- scat / watersports

- underage content

Probably inside:

- Futa on Female / Futa on Futa / Futa - Solo

- growth (mainly breast and nether regions)

- excessive cum

- some sci-fi elements or hints there of

Thank you for your time and let's hope we all can continue to create some fun content in the future.

PS: tags will follow once I feel like it's not as WIP as it is.

Google-Drive-Link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14SsY8nWF9DoCIiVrJuS8q-Abk3tThbsk?usp=sharing

Edit (2): Edited it thanks to ToraFoxs suggestions. Added some more descriptions. I borrowed some concepts from "The Light Fantastic", especially "futanari world" from

Link to his blog

http://lightfantasticstories.blogspot.de/p/stories-index.html

Edit (3): Added some another scene at the end of it.

Edit (4): Rewrote parts of the story from first to third person perspective. Made some more small changes and started on chapter two. Only contains plot and little hints on what's to come in the next 1-3 chapters.