A Narcissist in Heaven

This story takes place in the same universe as A Match Made in Heaven, a few months prior. It stars the McKenzie character from chapter three, but you don't necessarily need to have read that to enjoy this.

The first chapter, of which I hope to be several, contains no futa, but as the title suggests, a good bit of self-lovin'. Eventually I suspect futa will find their way in though.

I'm doing all I can to keep things understandable, but things might get pretty confusing here. Let me know if I did alright.

I am a genius.

There is really no point in modesty. I'm easily the most brilliant person alive today, and quite possibly of all time. Every field of scientific study has come as easily breathing to me. Chemistry, aeronautics, theoretical physics, you name it; I was a leader in the field. I invented the hovercar, the cold fusion generator, cured cancer, and proved string theory to be the most ridiculous thing to come out of the mouth of a "scientist".

If you are remotely cognitively functional, you might guess from that last statement that I don't respect my 'peers' very much. You would be only half right. I don't respect ANYONE very much. Needless to say, I am not well liked by the scientific community. I was eight when I realized that no one on this planet could hold a candle to my intellect, and have never put the slightest effort into relating to another human since.

As you can imagine, I am not the most altruistic person. All the gifts I have given the world were for my benefit alone. The best ones I kept for myself. Mine is the only fusion-powered lab I know of, and the cancer thing? Total accident. I was working on methods of rewriting DNA, and had to figure out how to reprogram white blood cells in the process. Can't change DNA with white cells attacking everything that's different, so I inadvertently cured every autoimmune disease known to man. How that got out to the public is a different story.

That reminds me. I should mention another reason I was unpopular was the fact I was a 5"1' 105lb red-haired WOMAN, and every man who was put off by that could suck it. No, that is not a typo. That WAS my physical description. Now? Well, we'll get to that eventually.

I'm writing these… memoirs, I suppose, so that future generations might find it, and benefit from a more accurate history of how incredible I, Ashley McKenzie, was. Of course, it will probably go to waste, as I plan to live forever.

It all started because I was bored. I'd invented everything I'd ever wanted. The portals made everything so easy; I almost wished I hadn't created them. Almost.

You don't know about portals? Go read A Match Made in Heaven chapter 3, asshat. Just think of the 'Portal' videogames.

For the first time in as long as I could remember, I couldn't think of anythin