A attempt at a poem

upon reading http://www.futanaripalace.com/showthread.php?47498-A-Short-Poem I decide to try my own hand at a verse, hopefully mine will be no worse. While I would like kindness more importantly give me some kind of feedback.

there was once a fellow who new

his mind would show him whats true,

and what beautiful visions he drew

his pen verily flew

with nary a hair askew.

One day he absently cast

his skill to the unlikely task

true love to unmask.

When done he felt himself a fool

for though he followed the rule

his woman also had her own tool

he thought it a flawed vision,

forced a gender division.

new not did he his precision.

his mind filled with doubt

heart wanting to shout

love did win out

the world he would scout

through many a year

he found many a peer

but none shook the fear

his love was no nearer

He searched through glade and fountain

he ventured every moor and mountain

Until he searched hollowed ground

where often stories abound

of such wonders found

when people turn to the Gods,

council from oracle, or seer.

Sought her from Delphi,

spoke to each mid-wife and psychic

though he did try

his days grew quick.

ON his last day

while going to pray

in a most glorious way

the work would finally pay

There was a glorious bod,

gifted above and below

as you very well know,

and pilgrim began to feel odd;

all this time, oh what a crime

the work had never been flawed

when speaking to this beauty beyond peer

their connection was clear.

They spent that night

in carnal delight

he took her, she took his rear

with joyous tear his vision did blear

once they did cease

his soul had found peace

and sadly his soul, it took flight.