Wild Crimson (non-futa; writing experiment, analysis please!)

Note: I originally wrote this for fictionpress as a little writing experiment last year. But, I am not really sure if this style really suits me. If you would like to read and provide analytical feedback I will love you forever. And just in case anyone is wondering, there's no continuation of this little tale.

Chapter 0: Ayame

The ill-colored sky was fully reflected on the surface of a clear, violet pair of eyes gazing up at it. In the reflection, the clouds were hastily repositioning themselves; it was as though they were making way for god's chariot to thunder across heaven's corridors.

With all the signs that nature has given, the owner of the violet pair knew that it was going to rain soon; yet, her legs were as stretched out as ever and her arms were limply hanging by her side. The only thing that seems to have been keeping her from toppling over was her slumped back, which leaned against the wall.

Pitter-patter… and then the downpour began. At first, it was just a few droplets seeking a surface to stain; but gradually, their number grew into hundreds, thousands, millions. As the wind picked up, the rain was able to cut a path toward the girl. Although they got some of her skin and hair, most of it was greedily absorbed by her springtime uniform.

When the coldness began sinking its fangs into her skin, she picked up her legs and pressed them tightly against her chest, locking them together by wrapping her arms around them. She still did not close the opened phone that she tightly held onto. On the femininely decorated screen, black letterings could be seen imprinted across a white background; the combination of colors emitted a sickening, digital radiance in contrast to the drearily dark environment.

As the message on her phone replayed again and again like a broken record player in her mind, the frail girl lowered her head and rested her face in the rift between her arms; created by her upright, fetal position.

Pit-pat, pit-pat… the sound of rain hitting Hanayu's body changed as its relentless attack halted; something was protecting her from their warmongering nature. When noticed it, Hanayu lifted her head and turned to her left to the guardian figure standing beside her. It was a vision of a tall, young woman adorning in the same uniform that she is wearing. The figure that was leaning against the wall was holding onto a sky blue umbrella with her left hand.

"Do you need salvation?" The aloof figure finally spoke up as she turned her face toward Hanayu, who was sitting on the ground. The eyes that returned Hanayu's bewildered gaze was a clear and sharp pair of agate. But stranger than the gems themselves, the woman's hair was a vibrant, strawberry blond. Hanayu's cheeks flustered a healthy plum-red as she inscribed the