Lamest Xmas story ever...
Story by Elimination Idol
This piece of trash contains the following:
- Xmas themed genital jokes you might have already heard when you were ten years old
- An elf chick seducing a man
- Bad writing
- Bad narration
- General Stupidity
Anyone who had the misfortune of seeing my previous dumb abomination (which is this, by the way) should know enough to stay away from this latest failure.
...
What?! You're still reading? :o Well, I guess some people never learn. :23:
I sure don't! :19:
David looks at the calendar. His face seems rather sad.
âAnother lonely Xmas,â he sighs.
He minimizes the calendar and checks his personal ad.
âOnly a few views, and no replies.â
Suddenly, David hears a noise.
He turns to the fireplace to glance.
There stands a tall lady with stunning poise.
She wears green clothes over a figure of an hourglass.
âSo,â she begins with a voice that seems to chime about,
âyouâre the guy looking for a dominant piece of ass,
but not one thatâll punch your lights out. â
David blinks. âWhat?â he blurts out.
He canât believe someone like her just appears outta nowhere.
His reactions disappoints her, but she doesnât pout.
âYou made you lustful wish public. I can even see it right there,
on your monitor,â as if that was hard to point out.
âWait,â he answers, âhow did you get in here?â
he pontificates as if between cans of beer,
âI canât believe you can just appear outta nowhere.â
Hey, I already said that, seven lines above here.
âOf course not,â states Ms. Captain Obvious,
âI appeared from the fireplace.â
âSure, and thereâs a sleigh and reindeer above us,â
deadpans David as if slapping her face,
âThat fireplace is just decorative. Itâs not connected to anything.â
Why he felt the need to explain, I canât⦠Well, explain.
âElf magic, silly boy,â says the green clothed chick,
â Only Santa needs the reindeer and sleigh, because heâs fat.â
Elf? How did I miss this? Her ears are pointed up like my dick.
Whoops! You didnât need to hear that.
âW-w-what?!â stammers David, because he missed it too,
âYouâre really giving me this kidsâ fantasy shtick?!
This is stupid!â No argument here, whichever heâs referring to.
âI was about to start my year-long vacation from the workshop,â
she soothsays, âwhen I happened to see your wish on Santaâs list.â
It takes David a moment to stop staring at her open top,
and ponder, âWait, my wish? I thought I posted that on Craigslist.â
âWell,â she answers quick, âwho do you think runs that site?â
âHuh?â replies David, surprised by this twist,
as am I. I didnât plan on wondering about THAT tonight.
âThe point is,â concludes the hot elf with the perfect rack,
âIâve decided to be your Xmas present,â as she gently pulls down her pants.
Dav