"Welcome to My World" first attempt to write

OK, let everything out guys. Brutal, honest critics welcomed. My first stories anyway, so I guess some may find it unpolished or downright silly. Anyway, please bear with not-so-natural english, if such is the case. I spent 8 years in OZ, but still, it's not my native language. Well, here goes nothing :D I hope I attached the story correctly.

Note: No futa content yet. It's coming up, just b patient. Next chapter, probably due in May or sumthin. I'll try 2 b quick.