AH SHIT (futa, humor)
Story by misfit446
ANother one off but might go with other chaps if you all want. Let me know.
AH SHIT
âAh shit,â Vera Mae growled out, stepping out onto the crooked porch and bending to pick up the blanket-lined box holding a baby. Immediately, she fished a finger into the leg opening of the diaper to feel for it. âYep, mine,â she sighed.
Turning to reenter the structure she called out. âDammit paw, we need another room.â Vera Mae navigated through the virtual sea of humanity as she carried the box into the kitchen, setting it down on the long wooden table.
Her two eldest, Sarah and Tammy Beth were sitting at the table with wide grins on their mugs. Their mother bent over and looked under the heavy table to see the next eldest Flora and Georgia Ann sucking at the large ten inchers with pleasure.
âYou be sure to make no mess now, you younginâs,â Vera Mae said and tickled the chin of the cherub lying in the box. âPAW!â
âWhat in tarnashion is a goinâ on here?â the old, bearded man asked in a falsetto voice as he clomped into the kitchen with his shit stained boots.
âPaw, we got tâanother one,â Vera Mae stated and pointed at the cooing baby on the table.
âYer sure?â
âYep. Mine.â
âDag nammit Vera Mae. You gotta keep your wick outta them wimmen folk,â he shouted loudly. âThem goverâment papers are a witch to write up.â
âThen whatta am I to stick it in then?â the dutiful daughter asked, setting a hand on her shapely hip.
âWhat? Oh, I donâ know. Anythinâ daughter. ANYTHINâ but a fertile woman. Just use yer head.â
The eighteen year old thought for a few seconds. âWell, Iâll try paw but it wonât really be the same.â
âDaughter, if it werenât for the state and ole George Washington, D.C. givinâ us a whole bunch of money for yer twenty two . . . â
âTwenty three, paw,â Very Mae interrupted and pointed at the now erect baby dick sticking out of the loose fitting diaper.
âDang it, that kidâs gonna blow,â Paw exclaimed. And sure enough, that little baby worm shivered and a stream of pee shot out, wetting the baby all over.
âAww, yer right paw. I missed that one,â Vera Mae said, stepping over to clean up the child.
Paw stomped out of the kitchen, swatting an ocean of kids out of the way to his old wooden rocking chair and sat with a heavy sigh. âI had twelve kids, six with Emma, my wife, two with her sister Hedda and four with Nora, the mayorâs wife. It was Nora whoâd given me this devil of a child,â he thought of Vera Mae. âDamn her soul,â he muttered.
âConnie, Lori Jane and Wendy Edith, you get this baby cleaned up and diapered,â Vera Mae called out as the kids ran up and stood in line. Handing the box over to the three, she turned to stir the huge pot of oatmeal with what looked like a wooden oar. Just thinking of who that baby belonged to made hot blood to flow about her body, caus